The Great Onion Knighthood

Official Novel Release Thread

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Re: Official Novel Release Thread

Postby Zambroscar » Sat Nov 25, 2017 8:50 pm

Not popped into here for a long time, so:

Rewrites? Name changes? Should I be sad?
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Re: Official Novel Release Thread

Postby Abaddon Daemon » Sun Nov 26, 2017 1:51 pm

I think it's all been a substantial improvement, personally. That said... you might not fully even recognize the first novel at this point. It's undergone a *lot* of surgery. >_>

Novel 3 is widely unchanged, for what it's worth. It still needs some proofreading for prose, but overall... I'm still very happy with that book.
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Re: Official Novel Release Thread

Postby Abaddon Daemon » Tue Dec 19, 2017 10:37 pm

For any who care, there has just been a fairly small and yet simultaneously large rewrite to Novels 2 and 3.

Spoiler: show
Kelve Orista is no longer dead!!


This isn't so much a "big" change, as it doesn't impact the majority of the plot, and there were only a handful of pages affected by it. If anyone *just* wants to read the relevant scenes that have changed and not do a full reread, they take place in Arkalen C39 Scene 2, a small change to Arkalen C41 Scene 4 (this is skippable as the change is very slight), Vaelius C17 Scene 3, and Vaelius C23 Scene 2.

Spoiler: show
Someone's probably questioning why we would do this. Well... it's a bit complicated. But one of the original plans we held at the very outset of beginning to write our own novels was that we were *never* going to kill a character just for the emotional impact. Like everyone we were fans of stories growing up, and there's nothing more painful than when a writer kills your favorite character. and every character is *someone's* favorite character.

Now, we don't hold to this rule anymore. It was a rule for the first novel, and that's fine. If we wrote the first novel over today, Kinguin would probably die when he casts Ultima for the first time.

There are also other characters who die in Novels 2 and 3. And we're okay with most of those. Deun, in particular, is a character who had to die. It's the *only* way to satisfactorily end his story. It's actually the best thing for his character.

Kelve has always haunted me, though. Kelve was created to be a character *specifically* to die. What he WASNT supposed to become was a *GOOD* character and a fan-favorite. As soon as he did, he violated our original mission outset, particularly the *spirit* of our original mission outset, which was not to mistreat someone's favorite character. DHR remarked upon it at one point, but Kelve doesnt have a particularly dignified death. He doesnt really accomplish anything by his death. It's a bad way to send off such a great and generally beloved character, and I've personally felt guilty about it for literally years.

So Ive had a lot of ideas Ive toyed with for how to undo it, but it wasnt until my most recent reread through Arkalen that I came up with one that I thought was both satisfying, AND didnt require a massive rewrite of... well, basically all of novel 3. So now, it has been undone. It doesn't necessarily play into this story... but it will play into future stories, perhaps.
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Re: Official Novel Release Thread

Postby cren3856 » Wed Dec 20, 2017 9:35 pm

That was a pretty wild ride. Really skeptical at first (since the idea on paper sounds really stupid) but it was handled well and addressed one of the issues I had with Vaelius.

Spoiler: show
Always thought it was weird how Fenrir suddenly had access to some of Kelve's stuff. Kind of got a two for one deal out of it since I never liked how Fenrir died.

On the subject of Kelve's previous fate, it's impossible to accurately recount my initial reaction, but I was fine with it. He effectively "died" during his fight with Gariso. Would have felt like a cop out for him to survive after that, especially with the scenes that go into detail about his degrading physical state.
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Re: Official Novel Release Thread

Postby Abaddon Daemon » Wed Dec 20, 2017 11:17 pm

As I said, I've gone through a *lot* of ideas over the years, and felt that the majority of them were stupid and terrible. It's been a long time before I finally came up with something I thought was decent.

Spoiler: show
The biggest thing that this plays into here was my long-term intentions for Fenrir. I've long intended for him to survive and become a teacher/protagonist role in some future novel, using the skills he stole from Kelve. But I don't particularly care for Fenrir's *character*, just his longevity and Kelve's abilities. So having him actually *be* Kelve plays into that plan even better, I think. Overall, I'm quite pleased with this change, and I *think* it'll blend in well on a future reread. But I'm almost halfway through Arkalen now, so hopefully I'll know here in a week or two for certain.
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Re: Official Novel Release Thread

Postby Abaddon Daemon » Tue Dec 26, 2017 6:41 pm

I'm almost finished with a full read through the trilogy. I already pointed out the biggest change, but there have been a couple of others I'll remark on here:

First of all, we've refined our Lordship structure within Felthespar. I dont remember what originally prompted this... but basically we have more official lordship positions than before. Being a Lord has a lot of official behavioral rules to it, regarding how one can be addressed or approached, as well as certain other minor perks throughout the nation. The main rule to lordship is just the simple rule that you *cannot* address a lord without using the term "Lord", typically followed by their full name, but in intimate situations just using the first name is acceptable. It's worth noting that this rule DOES apply to other lords. For example, technically Cildar is never allowed to refer to Myris as anything less than, "Lord Myris". A lot of our main characters just break the rules a lot.

Once obtained, lordship status is for life. Even if a person leaves their position, they are forever recognized by the city as a lord, assuming they have not been dishonored in some way.

Firstly, all Grand Councilors are given automatic titles of lordship. (this isnt a change. similarly, all Military Councilors are given automatic positions as Majors).

Second, there are three House Lords. These are for the top 3 (of six) positions on the Military Council.

Any Lord Councilor to a Major Council is a lord. This is usually moot, though, since most of them have their own independent titles. For instance, Kulara is General, Shiresta is Regent, Michaen is Lord Herald.

Beyond these, there are a few official positions of lordship within the military itself now. All of these titles are only granted when they are considered deserved. If no one currently is considered worthy of the title, the respective unit will just be led by a Major in the interim.

Lord of the Black Hand - this is the title given to the commander of the War Mages. Lathria holds this title throughout all three novels
Lord of the White Hand - this is the title given to the commander of the medics. Galbion holds this title until he dies. Lord of the White Hand doesnt have high demands like some of the other titles, and was likely filled immediately after Galbion's death. That character never appears in the novels, though. Galbion's predecessor, Tandra, was also Lord of the White Hand, but died before the novel begins.
Lord of the Feather - This is Zynex's new title, instead of "Lord of the Archers"
Lord of the Phoenix - Always been there, but now it fits into the normal schema of military lordship titles.
Lord of the Cain - Similar to the previous. This has always been Myris' title, now it matches up with the others. Technically this title is "Lord of the Children of Cain", just as the previous is technically "Lord of the Phoenix Dragoons", but they are shortened for dramatic effect

there are also available lordship titles for the heavy infantry and cavalry divisions, but we haven't settled on names for those yet.


The other big changes, which would only affect readers with extremely active imaginations, is that some characters have been made shorter. I've been using some online pictures to get an idea of what our combat matchups would actually look like. In particular, I ultimately decided that both Shote and Asha were being written as too tall. Shote has been reduced from 11 feet to 9 feet, while Asha has been reduced from 10 feet to 8 feet. This brings them in line with how their characters are typically written (for instance, humans are described as looking into Asha's chest. But at 10 feet, they'd be staring into his stomach).


Also, Kulara knows grey magic. This was a change that we actually made a while ago, when the rewrite of Novel 1 was done. There's no *way* Kulara can be as relatively strong as he is without grey magic. There's no way he would have ever been worthy of Atheme "training with him to keep up with Abaddon". So, we declared that he was, in fact, a user of grey magic. Problem is, he gives a speech in novel 3 about *very specifically* not using grey magic. So, that speech has been tweaked now, and Kulara was always a practitioner of grey magic.
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Re: Official Novel Release Thread

Postby Abaddon Daemon » Sun Dec 31, 2017 6:18 pm

My editing run is done. latest copies have been uploaded to the site
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